Faevourite

I hope y’all have sensed that I’m not really “reviewing” the Topdeck package, just kind of talking about what we did, where we went etc. The real review will be appearing in the Australian Times next month if you’re antsy about that kind of thing.

But here, just for fun, are some things you probably won’t read in other blogs about Topdeck’s European Wonder package. I’m going to list them as optional university modules because uhh I miss my lessons and this is my blog and whatever I do what I wahnt.

Phallocentricity

Whether it belongs to a driver relieving himself at the side of the road in Switzerland, Michaelangelo’s David in Florence, a drunk ‘gappie’ in a Venice nightclub, or a performer in the Amsterdam sex show, you are probably going to see a penis. It’s alright, you won’t be alone. We saw them all.

Pharmocology

Bring cold and flu tablets. Bring a lot. Trust me, it’s easier than trying to describe your symptoms of Topdeck typhoid over the counter in a German Apotheke. The truth is that even if you don’t share drinks or make out with other travellers, you will get sick. But it will be worth it. (Even if you don’t share drinks or make out with other travellers.)

Queer Theory

If you are queer, trans*, or otherwise non cisgendered/cissexual – or if you even know what these terms mean – you will probably be the only one. People will be very openminded when it comes to trying escargot or learning Portugese, but the sad fact is that if people have never been out of their small towns before, they probably still hold small-town mentalities. The upside is that when you do meet someone who ‘gets it’, they will probably be your BFF 5ever (that’s longer than 4ever lol).

Linguistics

Most people on the coach came from English-speaking countries, but there will still be times when you have NFC what these people are saying. As an Aussie-Pom hybrid I actually had to translate; it’s ridiculous that Kiwis and Australians struggle to understand each other at times (they’re all like “Where’s the car?” and we’re like “Where’s the car?”).

Alright, I’ve got it all out of my system now. Next post, broadcasting will resume as normal – promise!

The Duomo.

This morning we had a walking tour of Florence with a local guide. It is a pretty amazing city. For the Aussies who have never been out of Australia before, seeing any building that is over two centuries old is impressive – but the Duomo cathedral is absolutely stunning even by European standards.

Next to the Duomo was the Baptistry, with its bronze doors that allegedly begun the Renaissance. We also saw the Ponte Vecchio, one of the last remaining bridges after the Second World War, and the Accademia, which houses loads of sculptures, including Michelangelo’s ‘David’.

Little Lion Man was more impressed with this statue, but you can see David’s feet in the background.

I would have liked to see Santa Croce, the church which holds the tombs of Michelangelo, Dante and Galileo, but it was way too hot to buy some kind of garment to cover my shoulders (something you must do in Italy to visit many of the religious sites). The tour finished with a demonstration of leather-making, including Florentine jewellery boxes. To be honest, I only went to the demonstration to get out of the heat (Italy is HOT) and soon us veggies were heading to the nearest pizzaria.

Next it was back onto the bus to head to the town of Orvieto, something that wasn’t on the planned itinerary but which was well worthwhile. If you’re ever nearby I was totally recommend visiting. It’s a beautiful place.

And now I am in Rome, sitting in the bar by the pool and melting like gelati. It’s pretty weird to think that a couple of days ago we were standing knee-deep in snow in the Swiss Alps. I can’t believe it’s almost been a week, this trip is going so quickly!

Going to call it an early one tonight as we have a six hour walking tour in the morning. Yikes.

Ciao! x

Read the rest of my European Wonder adventures here.

That’s right. Snow in summer.

This morning we had the option of taking Jungfrau Railway to the Jungfraujoch, the train station in the Swiss Alps which marks the top of Europe. Setting off after breakfast with a packed lunch, we boarded the train for the two hour journey to the top.

The first 2k of the train journey from Kleine Scheidegg (which translates as ‘Little Vagina Corner’ according to our tour guide…) runs through open terrain. It is impossible to describe how picturesque Switzerland is. After the first 2k there is a 10k journey through a tunnel actually hewn out of the alpine rock. The train stops twice on the way up to let its passengers adjust to the altitude.

At the top, the beauty takes your breath away (literally). Standing at the top of Europe was definitely a life-altering experience for me. I mean, have you ever been inside of a cloud? Or been sunburnt in freezing temperatures?! For a lot of people, today was their first snow; I can’t even imagine the impact that must have had. There was a perfect moment up the top when we were sitting in the white, making snowcones with our juiceboxes, and the Canadian girls were playing music on their phone. It was just one of those ‘woah I’m going to remember this forever’ moments. I think this trip is going to have a lot of them…

This is pretty much what it felt like huh.

I’m writing this in in Lauterbrunnen where we’re staying, and where they make a surprisingly good flat white. I have to head pretty soon – we’re having fondue.

Read the rest of my European Wonder adventures here.