I hope y’all have sensed that I’m not really “reviewing” the Topdeck package, just kind of talking about what we did, where we went etc. The real review will be appearing in the Australian Times next month if you’re antsy about that kind of thing.
But here, just for fun, are some things you probably won’t read in other blogs about Topdeck’s European Wonder package. I’m going to list them as optional university modules because uhh I miss my lessons and this is my blog and whatever I do what I wahnt.
Phallocentricity
Whether it belongs to a driver relieving himself at the side of the road in Switzerland, Michaelangelo’s David in Florence, a drunk ‘gappie’ in a Venice nightclub, or a performer in the Amsterdam sex show, you are probably going to see a penis. It’s alright, you won’t be alone. We saw them all.
Pharmocology
Bring cold and flu tablets. Bring a lot. Trust me, it’s easier than trying to describe your symptoms of Topdeck typhoid over the counter in a German Apotheke. The truth is that even if you don’t share drinks or make out with other travellers, you will get sick. But it will be worth it. (Even if you don’t share drinks or make out with other travellers.)
Queer Theory
If you are queer, trans*, or otherwise non cisgendered/cissexual – or if you even know what these terms mean – you will probably be the only one. People will be very openminded when it comes to trying escargot or learning Portugese, but the sad fact is that if people have never been out of their small towns before, they probably still hold small-town mentalities. The upside is that when you do meet someone who ‘gets it’, they will probably be your BFF 5ever (that’s longer than 4ever lol).
Linguistics
Most people on the coach came from English-speaking countries, but there will still be times when you have NFC what these people are saying. As an Aussie-Pom hybrid I actually had to translate; it’s ridiculous that Kiwis and Australians struggle to understand each other at times (they’re all like “Where’s the car?” and we’re like “Where’s the car?”).
Alright, I’ve got it all out of my system now. Next post, broadcasting will resume as normal – promise!
Faevourite 
Gotta love the Chochords. They always seem to know just what to say :-D
So true.
“What did it sound like?”
“Kind of like an evil version of our accent.”